The Pranking Chronicles
by JennyDon'tBeHasty
Summary: Okay, I got bored and this is what happened, no slash or smut... but who's to say that won't change? T for English and Spanish swearing. Most of these will be from either Kendall or Logan's point of view...I really suck at summaries : read&review please


**Valentines Day**

_**A/N- Hey guys, so what I've been writing recently has been quite angsty, dramatic and depressing so I needed to write some humour. I decided to write the start of a Prank War and I'll write more. They'll just be little one shots that are loosely related and if you want any specific occasions done then review or PM me :D please review, I'll give you cookies, hugs and rainbows :) **jennifer x_

Every Valentines Day was the same. In the early afternoon couples would walk around the Palmwoods Park enjoying the sun, then all disappear to get ready for their dates that evening. James and Carlos were taking Lucy out for a 'friends' dinner and a movie, but the three of them knew by the end of the night they would try to woo her. Katie and Tyler were going to have dinner at the sixties diner two blocks over, and since it was Valentines the night was themed. Kendall wasn't overly happy Katie was now dating, but she was fourteen now. She knew what she was doing. Mama Knight also had a date, with Buddha-Bob. Ever since the marriage scam to allow Buddha-Bob to stay in the country Kendall and Katie had been begging for her to give Buddha-Bob a chance since he did actually like her. That left Kendall and Logan, alone and dateless, in the apartment.

"Logie," Kendall whined, "I'm bored!"

"Maybe if you got out of swirly and actually did something you wouldn't be bored." Kendall had been lying in the swirly slide for almost twenty minutes now, whilst Logan watched the history channel. Kendall would never admit it to him, but whatever Logan was watching actually sounded quite interesting.

"I wanna play a prank," Kendall told him as he climbed out of swirly.

"What kind of prank?" Logan was now intrigued, everybody loved a good prank.

"Well, mom's gonna be gone all night, and Katie's staying with Tyler and his mom until she gets back," the boys were no longer trusted to look after Katie, "which means Carlos and James will be home first."

"What so we rig this place with booby traps?" Logan enquired.

"Oh no, we're gonna do something much much better." Kendall had that mischievous grin on his face, the one that made Logan sick with nerves and fear.

"I'm listening," Logan sighed regretfully, but perked up knowing he would get a good laugh out of this.

"You text James or Carlos and ask when they think they'll be home and I'll start setting up in here," Kendall instructed.

"Okay?" Logan went to his room to get his phone, he text James know Carlos probably left his phone in the apartment.

_Hey, when do you think you'll be home?_

He replied in a matter of seconds,

_Not really sure, eleven maybe half past at the latest, why?_

Uncertain why he needed to know he text back saying,

_Just wondering, have fun :) _

"Kendork! They'll be back about eleven or half past!" Logan shouted through to the living room.

"Kay, come help me move this table?" Logan walked into the front room to discover candles and rose petals everywhere.

"What the hell?" Logan laughed.

"It's Valentines Day, so we make it look like we had I romantic dinner in here and when Carlos and James come back, we'll be in our bedroom, jumping on the bed, making it sound like we're having sex."

"As genius as that plan is, why?"

"Because I'm bored, help me move the table." The boys lifted the table and moved it into the centre of the room.

"I meant why are we trying to make James and Carlos think we're gay and dating?"

"Because I've been planning this prank for a long time, and its fucking hilarious. Do me a favour, cook something that would be eaten on a romantic date?"

"You cook!" Logan protested.

"No can do, plan to work out!" Kendall laughed skipping away to his room, returning a few minutes later with a red table cloth and a bottle of red wine.

"You've been planning this for how long exactly?"

"Pretty much since Christmas, this is revenge for the two of them," Carlos and James, "Wrapping loads of spring loaded confetti boxes for us." The boys started laughing at the memory. Logan had started making Spaghetti Bolognese.

"Don't you think this is a little extreme?"

"Logie, Logie, Logie, poor sweet innocent little Logie, don't you know me at all? If you prank me, I get you back twice as bad." Kendall laughed.

"Okay, I have a request of my own, and if I don't get this then I'm out and your plan is ruined," Logan laughed at the crestfallen look on Kendall's face, "If and when they ask any questions, I was on top." Kendall thought about this for a moment before realising he needed Logan in on this no matter what.

"Fine," he pouted playfully.

The boys continued to cook and set up the room. Kendall played some cliché romantic music and lit all the candles, he tided the rest of the room completely and Logan gave him a plate of the spaghetti. Instead of ruining the perfectly set table, the boys ate spread out on the couch.

"Leave some on the plate," Logan told him.

"Why?"

"Because I don't do anything half assed, make it look like we couldn't even make it through dinner before we 'had sex'," Logan used air quotes around 'had sex'.

"Since you don't do anything half assed I'll be back in a minute," Kendall laughed and put his plate on the table. He all but ran to his and Logan's room and went through both their wardrobes finding smart pants, shirts and shoes for both of them. He also took a pair of each of their boxers for good measure.

In his return to the living room Kendall sae Logan had set the plates properly on the table and moves the cutlery. It actually looked as if they had been eating there. Kendall threw a pair of pants, not bothering to check who they belonged to, over the orange sofa. He threw his shirt onto the kitchen counter. Ignoring Logan's demands to know what he was doing, he dropped the shoes strategically around the front room then put the other pair of pants over the bottom of swirly.

"Kendall Knight!" Logan all but screamed, "Would you please tell me what the fuck you are doing?"

"Making it look as if we did stuff everywhere," Kendall laughed at the look of horror on the small brunette's face. He continued on with his work, dropping his underwear outside their bedroom door. He wasn't sure what to do with Logan's though. The smaller boy was sitting watching the history channel again, and as if he could read Kendall's mind called back to him,

"Put my underwear on Carlos and James' bedroom door handle!"

"You're a genius!"

"I do try," Logan laughed as Kendall joined him on the sofa.

It was now about nine thirty, so the two friends just chilled and watched TV for and hour or so. Luckily for the boys the Palmwoods was quiet enough that they could hear the elevator ding at the end of the corridor. Assuming it would be James and Carlos the boys jumped into action.

Kendall ran and dimmed the lights leaving the candles to light the room. Logan turned the TV off and ran towards the bedroom. Kendall joined him and silently shut the bedroom door as either James or Carlos opened the door to the apartment.

"I'm glad Lucy doesn't like chick flicks, that bit when Mann blew up the schoo- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN HERE?" James yelled.

Carlos screamed a high pitched girly scream as Kendall mouthed the words 'show time' to Logan.

"Oh, oh, so good. Fuck Logan. Fuck me harder!" Kendall yelled as he stared jumping on the bed, making it squeak and creek.

"KENDALL?" They heard James shout from the other room.

"Kendall, oh god Kendall. So tight, so good! I could fuck you all day!"

"LOGAN?" Carlos shouted.

"You have fucked me all day, and you're gonna fuck me all night Mitchell!"

They bit back the laughter as they heard Carlos and James run to the other side of their bedroom door.

"HORTENSE!" Kendall yelled for the world to hear.

"Oh you like that do you?" Logan 'panted' as he slapped his own arm making it sound like he had just spanked Kendall.

"More, more!" Kendall panted.

"You like it rough don't you!" Logan shouted, struggling to keep his laughter contained.

"I'm close, so close!" Kendall yelled as Carlos burst into the room.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" He yelled, eyes closed to protect his innocence. The two collapse onto the bed clutching at their stomachs, gasping for air.

Obviously confused by the laughter James entered the room and Carlos opened his eyes to see his two fully clothed friends collapsed on Kendall's bed clearly struggling to breathe. Carlos was the first to speak.

"What the joder was that!" he demanded.

"Re- revenge fo-for," Logan tried to say, but couldn't before his relapse of giggles.

"Chris- Christmas," Kendall finished his sentence before laughing even harder himself.

"You guys are assholes! I thought you were actually joder-ing in here!" James said, obviously not liking the fact he had just been pranked.

"It would be jodienda," Carlos corrected his Spanish as he laughed with the blond and small brunette.

"Hijo de puta!" James put into use one of the few Spanish phrases he knew.

"The other mother I've fucked is yours!" Carlos told him as he regained composure. Kendall and Logan had also calmed down.

"I suppose we should clean this up before mom and Katie come home," Kendall said, "I don't wanna have to explain this to them!"

Kendall and Logan tided the apartment and put everything away. Maybe they were wrong, not _every_ Valentines Day was the same.

_**A/N- Okay, if you didn't understand, 'joder' is Spanish for fuck, 'jodienda' translates as fucking and 'hijo de puta' is mother fucker :) see that beautiful little review button down there, click click click or I might not write anymore :P **jennifer x_


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